For When Its Hard To Be Together
I firmly believe that anyone who tells you that marriage is easy is a darn liar. So many of us get raised up on the fairy tale or we have those grandparents who have been/were together for 50 plus years and have you fully convinced that soul mates do exists. It’s that kind of propaganda that makes you think your a horrible person when you can’t even stand the sight of your significant other. You start to wonder where you went wrong, if you’ve made so kind of horrible mistake, and the thoughts of running for the hills lingers in the back of your mind. Take comfort, my married friends, there is still hope for you! I’ve put together an extensive list of marriage bible verses to get you through the times when its hard to be together.
For full disclosure, my husband and I went through several lengthy rough patches, and there were several times that I just wanted out. It was clear we brought out the worst in each other and I was ready to call it quits but the Christian part of me needed to find some biblical backing to support my decision. This post was born out of that desperate search but what I found instead was hope. Turns out the Bible is full of that.
When you are arguing over money…
There is an old saying that there are 2 types people in this world. The people who like to spend money and those who like to save it, and those 2 tend to marry each other. The bible has so much wisdom on what you should do with money but that’s not what this post is about (if you want that then you should look into Dave Ramsey). This post is to reassure you that its normal to disagree about finances and give you some encouragement that this too shall pass.
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:18
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. -James 1: 2-3
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trails, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. -Romans 5: 3-4
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.” -Hebrews 13:5
God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. -James 1:12
Seek the Kingdom of Gad above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it’s own worries. Todays trouble is enough for today. – Matthew 6:33-34
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. -Matthew 7:7
For when you feel disconnected…
I don’t know if it happens to every marriage but I can say for me that there have been several times I just felt like we were broken. While I desperately wanted my marriage to work but I didn’t like the man in my home and its like I had a roommate more than a husband. It took time and vulnerability (on both our parts cause you cant fix it alone) but in the struggle these helped me find solace.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show which path to take. -Proverbs 3:5-6
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. -Philippians 2:3
Do to others as you would have them do to you. -Luke 6:31
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. -2 Corinthians 12:9
Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. -1 Peter 3:8-9
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. -Matthew 6:14
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. -Matthew 7:1-2
For when it all feels like a mistake…
When you got married, you were most likely full of passion and in the throws of love. It was easy to imagine your forever together, all the way to the matching rocking chairs and wrinkles. As time goes on that picture may become less clearer. It gets lost in the day to day and you made wondered if this is really who God intended you to be with. Take heart! All is not lost. Love never fails. Have perseverance, be honest about your feelings, make the marriage a priority, and pray daily.
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. -Romans 15:13
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels not demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. -Romans 8:38
Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. -Psalms 27:14
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold up my victorious right hand. -Isaiah 41:10
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28
Remember your why.
I truly hope that you never reach the point were you feel that you have done all you can and feel content with the idea of divorce. Though you may try your hardest, sometimes the only thing you can do is walk away. No judgement. Promise. Before you sign those papers though, I would suggest you pull out that wedding album/ vacation snapshots/ love letters/ whatever memento has the strongest feeling for you. There had to be something about them that made you make the pledge of marriage. Is any of that person still there? I know this sounds like grasping a straws but much can grow from the tiniest seeds of love.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. IF one person falls, the other can reach out and help. -Ecclesiastes 4:9
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. -Ephesians 4:2
Get ride of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. -Ephesians 4:31-32
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. -Song of Songs 8:6
Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. -Proverbs 3:3
I would love to tell you that after all my husband and I have been through I am now a happily married expert on love (it was seriously hard to write that with a straight face) but I am definitely not. Its entirely plausible that I wrote this post as a reminder to myself and so that I could look back on these the next time he leaves his socks literally next to the hamper. While we have been through our fair share of trials and tribulations, we have come through it stronger and closer then we have ever been.
I used to say he was my best friend but I recognize now that was a lie, he is more than that, he is my God given husband, which is better. We don’t agree 90% of the time but I do love him 100% of the time. I hope this encouraged you, even the tiniest bit, and gave you enough strength to give it just a little bit more of yourself because I promise you that if it’s meant to be then it will be worth it.
Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love. -1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Welcome to Caffeine Prayers